MENtality - Those Boxes

In our society holding on to anger, resentment, grudges and fear is very widespread. It is even encouraged. So much so that sometimes when people speak of releasing long held grudges and unforgiveness against others they are scorned at or scoffed on for taking the liberating road less travelled. While this approach seems so popular it is neither healthy nor liberating.

For many there is a room in their subconscious; in the house of their emotions that they keep shut with lock and key. Behind the door of this room are boxes under lid. Within these boxes are contents of fractured relationships, uncomfortable experiences and unresolved emotions. Most people know that this room is there but they try to forget it and ignore it. Every now and then they interact with the people, encounter situations and memories are triggered which cause them to retrieve contents from particular boxes. When the interaction has ended they return the contents, cover the box and lock the door until the next encounter; many times creating new boxes of unresolved issues and relationships.

While most people attribute patterns like holding grudges and unforgiveness to women, men are equally prone to do the same. Generally, it is understood that men express themselves differently but the room exists all the same with the boxes stored up. It may manifest in anger, violence, unwillingness to commit to one partner, not connecting intimately emotionally and the tendency to avoid talking and deep, meaningful conversations. Hey, after all, men are strong and tough and in this society we are trained not to wear our tender emotions on our sleeves. The consequence is that we end up harming our relationships.

Is it true that men don’t get afraid? Is it true that men don’t get hurt? Is it true that men don’t carry resentment or grudges? Men are humans. Men are not tin cars like what children throw on the ground and push through the dirt. Like women, men need to breathe air, to eat food to nourish our bodies, to rest, sleep and rejuvenate our bodies. Men are humans too. Not only do we have sexual desires but we also desire, in fact, we need for connection and belonging and respect.

We were once little boys who cried, and smiled and got hungry and breastfed and longed for hugs and kisses. As we grew up to little children, we longed to play with the other boys and to fit in with the other children. As boys we wanted to be appreciated and recognized for the work we did well; for fixing the toy. We all desired stability, a functional family and safe home and community. Then as we grew up we all desired to be unique and significant for something. Eventually, we dreamt of what we wanted to be when we grew up and what our ideal life would be like. However all along this journey we observed, we saw things happening in our household (or households), many of those little boys were shaken, hurt and left exposed. They learned unhealthy ways of addressing issues out of their own hurts, disappointments and insecurities. They all grew up. We all grew up; we are all became men but that room and those boxes are packed away and we wonder why we are stuck, why we can’t seem to do the right thing, why we lose control whenever that situation happens.

What can we do about those boxes?

Open the door, let some air and light in. Take out the boxes. Take them to the living room and open them up. Lay the contents out and acknowledge what’s there. Identify the contents; accept the contents. Lay them all out before you and determine what should be done with them and where the contents should be placed. Some will need to be washed and sanitized. Some will need to be dusted. Some will need to be plugged in to function. Some will need be put on display, some will need to be reupholstered and some will need to be pleasantly and peacefully placed in the trash. However, you must unpack each box, confront the issues and deliberately decide the appropriate, healthy action to deal with the contents. You cannot heal what you do not reveal.

You have probably heard the saying that hurt people hurt people. It’s also true that broken people create broken relationships. It’s time to clear out that room and lay it all out.

Krisnan Hurdle is a board certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and certified Life Coach trained by Anthony Robbins. He is the principal consultant at Insight Consulting (Barbados), "Thinking for Change".
facebook.com/InsightConsultingBarbados
Email: insightconsultingbb@gmail.com

MENtality - The Clarion Call To Courage

Today we celebrate the birthday of the father of independence in Barbados and rightfully so. He was a great man in the context of our nation. Great in vision, great in results and great in courage.

All too often we admire and celebrate the work of persons who took the courage to stand up and achieved. But too many people adopt this line of thinking, "That's for that kind of person. He was cut out for that", because we believe we have nothing to offer.

We admire the change agent, the social activist, the politician, the athlete, the business person and entrepreneur and the missionary. There's much to do, much to achieve and much to change in ourselves and the world around us. But without courage we are paralysed and unable to affect any change. There is a call going out for Errol Barrow's of the 2017 Barbados; DJ Puffy's for the talented but procrastinate; Martin Luther King Jr's and Nelson Mandela's of injustice.

The status quo is killing us. Eating us up inside. Who is willing to raise their hand and step forward for what they know is right and just. Will we all jump up in the crowd and sing their songs? Who will decide to write their own tunes?

It takes calculated action. But the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Step forward!

There is something you have been observing for a long time. The pattern is consistent and you are sure. There is something you can do. No one else will step up. This is your opportunity to make a difference. And when you do it; when you fight for it to the end you would have achieved much more along the way and answered the clarion call to courage.

Krisnan Hurdle is a board certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and certified Life Coach trained by Anthony Robbins. He is the principal consultant at Insight Consulting (Barbados), "Thinking for Change".
facebook.com/InsightConsultingBarbados
Email: insightconsultingbb@gmail.com

Educating Our Future Introduction by Karen McKee

I remember my first teaching stint in Barbados like it was yesterday.  I was only a few months out of high school, and I was sent by the Ministry of Education to a school in St. Michael on a 4-week assignment. The regular teacher of this self-contained class of 8-9 year old students was off sick. But this class was known throughout the school as a class of "slow learners." So I set out to focus on developmental academic work. 

These children were fun and they started to work well and invested more in their work. Parents were coming by to meet the new teacher. One parent said that one evening after school, she told her son to "go out on the pasture to play" and he said that he had to do his homework first. Since she had never before heard those words coming from his mouth, the next day she came to find out what was going on. (lol) This was all good, but what really caught my attention was the change in their behaviour when students from other classes were around and talking and having playful verbal exchanges amongst themselves. The students from my class would stop all of their interactions with each other and sheepishly watch the other children. I observed this during lunch breaks.  Instinctively, I was able to identify the problem .  Now a lot of people would probably jump straight for the popular term and say that they lacked self-esteem.  However, that was not the real problem to be fixed.  The real problem was a lack of 'belongingness.' They didn't feel that they could ever belong to the school group at large because they couldn't possibly have anything to contribute, or so they thought. So they stayed silent.

After this first teaching experience, I had solidly made up my mind that not only would I focus on building confidence in my students' abilities to perform academically, but also developing qualities that will help them function successfully in any community of members or team. And these are two important things that employers are looking for - self confidence and the ability to function successfully as part of a team.

Employers are looking for individuals who are prepared for teamwork,  and prepared to make an impact in whatever work community they are in. Employers are seeking out those with emotional intelligence, who understand relationships especially in the work environment and has an understanding of how their actions or lack of actions impact those around them. So no longer can we focus on educating students in preparation to do a job, but we must go that extra mile to train and hone skills that build community amongst members. During this series, I will share experiences and explore related topics and concepts that may be helpful to educators, who are faced with the task of preparing our future generations for success.

Karen Mckee
Educator & Motivational Speaker
Live Again Conference Producer & Coordinator
Email: admin@live-again.org

WOW Factor- Get Your Groove On

This seemed like a funny way to introduce the concept of the WOW Factor. Thanks to "Cam" from ABC's Modern Family.

WOW Factor?

Watch Out World! It's ________________.

Put your name or the name of your business, product or service in that blank.  How do you generate that response when that name is called? How do you get your groove on and have others jamming to your tune?

For now, let's rock with the example in the video. Cameron was trying to convince his contractor partners that they should include a WOW Factor when they refurbish the house for resale. And this clip is his presentation to them.

1) Define Your WOW Factor

Guess what. It's difficult to have others notice your WOW Factor when you don't even know what it is yourself. So this is where you look within and ask some insightful people give you some feedback. Find what sets you apart. In this example, Cam thought that by adding a water feature to the backyard, they would attract more buyers and higher offers. Sometimes it isn't that you offer anything brand new, but maybe you do it best, or maybe you do it differently enough to be more attractive. If honest introspection revels that you do not have a particular feature you can promote as your WOW factor, then, you may need to create one.

2) Keep It Simply Exquisite

The idea of WOW is awe-inspiring, jaw dropping, remarkable, unbelievable, breath-taking and I am sure you can add more synonyms. In the video example, Cam went for a flamboyant, over the top and over budget addition to the house design. It makes for good TV, but not necessarily for good business. Your WOW Factor, in business is what makes people walk away from you thinking about the next time they are coming back and who they are bringing with them. If you own a restaurant, maybe it's your homemade bread. Some people go to Red Lobster for the Cheddar Bay Biscuits! Your WOW factor is about the feeling your employees, partners, customers and clients have when they have interacted with you. It doesn't have to be a nightmare for your wallet. It should always reconnect people with your business, product or service.

3) Show and Tell

Your WOW Factor needs to be your worst kept secret. How will people dance to your groove if they can't hear it? You have to raise the chorus. You have to be your own champion. We have heard before, "A picture is worth 1000 words" and "Actions speak louder than words". When it comes to business, that is the gospel truth. It's one thing to tell people, but you have to show it. In the video, Cam was trying to convince his partners for the entire episode to make improvements to the designs. No one saw his vision, until they saw his reality. Again, this example is great for TV, and going rogue and over budget isn't the best strategy. However, be as creative and as visual as possible.

4) Be Authentic

What's a WOW Factor that is inconsistent? A Gimmick! People don't want to feel duped. Offer something real. It has to be real to you or it won't be real to them. And when they walk away thinking "I have to bring XYZ here with me next time." They should be fully confident that XYZ will have the same experience and walk away jamming your tune, jaw gaping open....WOW!!!!

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Knowing it is believing it

Breaking the Ice could be challenging.  It will always be the reason not to do something until you do it.

So what holds you back from doing the one thing you want to do?  (It's a funny how a FOUR letter WORD can cause so much FEAR in you)

Dig deep and find your inner you to do the greatness you were made to do.  Is it what you want to do that stops you from being exceptional?  OK, I need to get down to the dirt of things and find out from you who you really are.  Too often you will find out that your story is not as embarrassing as you think it is.   So hang in there and get past that barrier which prevents you.

I was reminded recently by a 63 year old lady to never give up on my dreams even though things aren't going the way I planned.  It was special for me to hear those words so I thanked her.  The one thing that was emphasized through that conversation,  once you have life you have a chance to change your life.

It wasn't a coincidence when you were asked what you wanted to be as a child and you blurted out the first thing you thought of.  It is no coincidence you are still dreaming if you haven't awaken yet.  What usually wakes you up?  A few slaps or a poke may be familiar and they usually hurt.

So I have broken the ice with you now and your tummy should feel warm.  Let's take your dream to the next level with nothing holding you back.

Sowing the SEED - New Year New You New Way of Doing Business

Happy New year!! It's 2017, still no flying cars and we're still fighting world hunger. So what are going to do to enter 2018, better than we entered 2017?

Small Enterprises for Education and Development is a registered charity of Barbados. SEED is comprised of small business members seeking an opportunity exercise their Corporate Social Responsibility.

What is Corporate Social Responsibility?

CSR is the understanding that corporations are given privileges to act as a "person" depending on the degree to which the company has been "incorporated" or "embodied" and with these privileges comes the responsibility of acting like a part of the community, just as a responsible person would be expected to behave. Here are a few ways companies express their CSR:

Donations

Whether in cash or in kind, it is the simplest way to be involved. It allows the beneficiary to fund their needs and the business may often receive some publicity. Depending on the size of the donation, the business may be named a sponsor, and may make some decisions on how the project is directed and funds are used.

Volunteering

Maybe just the business owners, or the employees as well, would dedicate some time to assist a specific organization or champion a cause. The company uses its platform to engage in advocacy and public education on a matter.

Foundations

Companies, large and small, create separate not-for-profit organizations that are fully dedicated to actively making real change in their communities. The companies fund the foundation, but allow it to be managed as a separate entity.

Self Regulation

Instead of doing something external, a company may decide to express its responsibility internally. Therefore, a company that feels strongly about the environment would ensure its processes reduce, reuse and recycle where possible. The company may choose to invest in renewable energy sources for their own needs. A company that feels strongly about people may self institute socially advanced policies like extended Maternity and Paternity Leave, recreational spaces in the office, personal development and educational opportunities for employees, etc.

Small Businesses and CSR

SEED believes that most business owners really care about the world around them. They are parents, members of religious organizations, recipients of government provided social goods etc. Small business owners are living and working among the communities which patronize their businesses. Many want to give back and have already found ways to do so.

SEED seeks to provide avenues for small businesses to be socially responsible organizations in ways that most benefit both the community and the business. We understand that entrepreneurs are extremely busy and their businesses often cash strapped. So, we create the opportunity and make it available for interested and available businesses to get involved, however it makes sense and cents for them.

Welcome to the Class Act Magazine

We are Class Act Conferences---Where it all Comes Together.

Class Act Conferences is a SMALL business for SMALL businesses. We believe that together we can make a BIG impact. Class Act Conferences believes in community. We seek to inspire our partners and stakeholders to collaborate so we can all grow together.

In that spirit of collaboration, we have gathered with professionals who are all entrepreneurs in their own right to create the Class Act Magazine. This magazine is FREELY AVAILABLE in print and online. We also offer low cost advertising opportunities for businesses operating in Barbados. One low price for BOTH print and online.

Take a look below at the sneak peak of what is to come. Book your ad slot now! First issue, June 1st 2017.

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